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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2016 3:25:09 GMT -6
Guinevere had interpreted the signs rightly, up to this point. Lily had been cautious with her emotions, but the talk of nightmares brought darkness to her little memory bubbles. She didn’t anticipate Lily doing this to herself, but you never know; sometimes even the best reads on people are not sufficient to truly gauge their persona and motives. She knew someone had done this to her already – from what was talked about in hushed whispers in the hospital and vaguely hinted at in the papers – but this was about as much assurance as she needed.
Seeing Lily curl up pained Guinevere. She did not like to see people like this in general, particularly those whom she had gotten a slight fondness towards. The witch who did this to her would pay – by whatever hell the Architect condemned evildoers to; she would be the one to send the bitch there. She’d danced with death and tangoed with torment before, and whomever this woman was, regardless of who she frightened, fended off, or otherwise brought to their knees would fall to Guinevere’s whip and her Grimm.
Though Guinevere was strongly feeling the emotion, the only thing Lily might note is a slight determination in her eyes. From nearly a decade of blocking out the pain he felt from others, she had gotten quite adept at blocking things traveling through her semblance she did not wish to transmit. With Lily’s words, clouds of black bubbles sprouted and flowed past in her mind. It was like Guinevere was almost playing dodgeball with someone and they had a semi-automatic dodgeball launcher. It was almost not fair. She pulled to a bit more surface view temporarily, keeping in place what she could around Lily’s arm, heart and mind. It wasn’t typically considered ‘nice’ if you peeped more than you should.
She could definitely identify with the nightmares Lily had had in the past and those she was having now. Being in the hearts and minds – soul might be an overstatement – of the Grimm was how she had picked up her near-constant insomnia. Naps were about the most she could ever hope to achieve, and it was not something that she did readily. Often, she only got to nap after a particularly straining day for her mind – one in which the dreams simply could not intrude upon as she dropped straight into a dreamless state. With Lily like this, she would probably be cursed similarly; though she might get a slight reprise from Guinevere’s ministrations in the coming months.
Guinevere looked over at Lily and reached up to her breast pocket, pulling out a pocket square of a deep crimson velvet not unlike the lining of her jacket. With this, she reached over and dabbed towards the corners oy Lily’s teary eyes. “Ssshhh.” She smiled, left eye meeting Lily’s own. “You’re going to be fine. You certainly aren’t the first person I’ve met to have this happen.” Though those people she had met in the past were often babies left at the orphanage of Cela because someone wanted to experiment with Voidstuffs. Babies still had nightmares, she would admit they were often abstract and not well developed, but they were still nightmares to the ones crying in the cribs at night. It made her wonder for a moment if she should have stayed at the Monastery. Maybe she would return someday to see Grandmaster Neehala?
Regardless of the future, she had one thing to address here and now. She dabbed again at Lily’s eyes and stroked through her hair gently. She avoided the ears, because she knew some Faunus who hated the feeling and others where they probably liked it a bit much and she didn’t want to hit any of those ends of the spectrum. If lily moved her head in a way that caused her to stroke along them, she would just continue to do so. She smiled down on the girl, and moved her tied hand over towards the hand it was paired with. Her fingers splayed out, she lifted her hand towards Lily’s to grasp.
Her aura was steadily growing more pronounced at the moment. Rather than simple ripples that fringed out towards her arms, she now had a very pronounced ripple flowing boldly enough along her body that it could actually be seen through her jacket and pants. Like the ripples radiating out from a drop of water in a calm pool, the ripples of Guinevere’s heartbeat resonated across her body and to her hand. Even through the link that she presently formed lily would notice small ripples flowing through the fabric and to her own wrist. If she ended up taking Guinevere’s hand, it would only be a couple waves before the ripples would spread over the whole of her own body.
“When you’re ready, take my hand. And as you breathe in and out, imagine relaxing into a nice warm pool or being covered by the fluffiest blanket you’ve ever felt. And just think of it and slowly just drift off…” If Lily took her hand, she would continue the calming mantra, while brushing the girl’s hair and sending small drowsy emotions through the link. Any one probably wouldn’t be enough to let the girl relax enough, but together, Guinevere hoped it would be sufficient. Meanwhile, she was getting ready to do some mental nightmare bubble bursting.
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Post by Aegle Vitus on Dec 5, 2016 16:52:32 GMT -6
There had been something in Aegle's open face, ever a window of the most crystal clarity into the landscape of her soul, of a most unidentifiable quality. It had been there throughout her recounting of what were probably the most traumatic and galvanizing experiences of her difficult life, a life she had just admitted would be significantly shorter than most. It had even been present in the closing statement of her explanation, an explanation which Lily had requested, when the only other emotion on Aegle's face had been acute shyness for the amount of talking she'd just done. As she'd already admitted, she was not great at talking and did not feel it was one of her stronger qualities. Yet she had just spoken, at length, on a subject which she'd never fully explored with anyone else. A subject so personal and deeply affected, it had driven the whole course of her life. She had, in her own simple way, needed to relive the heartbreak, misery, difficulty and bitter-sweet triumph of it all, and she'd done so in order to provide Lily with the thesis of who she, Aegle Vitus, was. A thesis which, despite the upsetting nature of her memories, had been the most complete sort of answer she could provide. There was something in Aegle's expression throughout her retelling of the most difficult period in her life, and it vanished without a trace when Lily told her she was wrong. Whether it had been stalwart denial of her own darkest emotions, dredged up in her resolve to answer Lily's question, or embarrassment that she should speak so openly about herself and who she was, or a combination of the two, Lily's need to correct Aegle drove it from her face. Perhaps it had been a bit presumptuous for Aegle to assume that Lily had never been told she would die, and perhaps the experience they shared were even comparable. Sure, Aegle had been told by her big brother, a person who had always been there for her and whom she loved fiercely, while Lily's elucidation had come at the hands of a man who Aegle judged to be singularly petty and cruel. And sure, Lily's experience had come at the culmination of many hard years in the wilds, while Aegle's had served as the disillusionment of her years in the relative comfort of Legion. But the two events paralleled. At least, that was what Aegle told herself, because Lily evidently thought they did, and Lily was so much smarter than Aegle was. How could she be wrong? So, contrary to expectation, no magical smoke drifted out of Aegle's ears as she listened. There was no look of confusion or consternation as Lily made her way through her tragic narrative. There was only solemn attention. After all, Aegle thought, if Lily had chosen to share this with her, there must have been a reason. Even if it was a reason that Aegle could not intuit. She trusted Lily, not only as a friend, but as someone who was much more sensitive and intelligent than she was. So there must have been a reason that Lily would first correct her perfunctory presumption, and then tell a story which, if anything, made Aegle feel vaguely guilty for how hard she'd found it to tell her own story. Surely, she reasoned as she listened, it hadn't been Lily's intention to undercut Aegle's whole reason for being at Vytal and living the life she did. Surely there was another reason that Lily was telling Aegle about all the awful things that happened to her, when just a moment before Aegle had been the the subject of discussion. There must have been a point, only it was a point which Aegle was too stupid or unaffected to see. So Aegle looked for the point and listened to her friend. She tried to forget about her own experiences and the motivations she had just shared with her friend. She tried not to draw conclusions about how petty and trivial Lily must have thought her reasons were, if she immediately followed their exchange with a story of events and circumstances Aegle judge more bleak and cruel than her own had been. Aegle did not stop to think that, maybe she found those circumstances bleaker and crueler simply because they had occurred to her friend. After all, she had never noticed how the tragedies which befell others were always so much more tragic, in her eyes, than those that befell herself, and she had never drawn the obvious conclusion that this observation would have facilitated. So Aegle listened in silence until Lily was done, trying all the while to not feel like she was petty and privileged, and that her core motivation wasn't based off circumstances infinitely less tragic than what Lily had been through. Furthermore, she tried all that time to convince herself that Lily did not see her the same way, as some privileged and petty pansy, crying because she'd gotten sick in a city where they could make her better, instead of watching her parents die far away from help and hope. Instead of experiencing the pain and release of death first hand, where Aegle had only had to wonder what it would feel like when her heart finally, inevitably stopped beating. At the conclusion of Lily's story, Aegle gave her friend a strained and uncertain look. Uncertain because she did not know what possible emotion she was meant to show, strained because she felt so small beside the far greater tragedy of Lily's life. Finally, rather than speak, because Aegle's trust in speech had been shaken right down to its core, the orange haired girl reached out and put one of her trembling, bandaged hands on Lily's stomach. On her scar. The scar that had killed her. She remained silent for several seconds after too, trying and failing to figure out how she felt and what Lily had wanted her to take from all of that. They had been talking about drive and motivation before, so surely that had all been related. Surely... " M'sorry." She said finally, because she didn't know what else to say, but felt that she owed Lily an apology for some reason she couldn't explain. Then, struggling carefully back to the crooked slouch which served her as 'standing straight', Aegle brought her crutches underneath her again and shuffled indelicately towards the head of Lily's bed. Not knowing what else to say, she carefully disentangled her other hand and reached beneath Lily's shoulders, encircling the faunus girl in a hug. She hid the grimace of pain this act produced by pressing her face into Lily's hair, and then squeezed her friend with all the unsteady strength at her disposal, with such effort that she began to tremble. Which is to say that she hugged Lily with only slightly more pressure than a particularly heavy quilt blanket.
Since her return to Vytal, Aegle had made a point of going to visit Lily as often as possible, and had even done so multiple times in a single day. A decision mostly born from the fact that she sensed that her friend really needed the company, and she personally had some experience with being cooped up in a hospital room and not allowed to leave, and how lonely that could be. Mostly, but not completely. Their first, and subsequently only, visit while both had been in Legion had ended somewhat awkwardly, with Aegle excusing herself for some nebulous reason after less than twenty minutes. She'd never felt quite good about doing that, had never been able to figure out why she did it, and had kept on meaning to visit Lily again. Yet she'd never quite gotten around to doing it. Her brothers had visited, then her parents, then she'd had physio therapy and doctors appointments and she'd never really had the opportunity to go back. That she'd let those visits, sessions and appointments run a little longer than necessary, or that she had been actively avoiding going to talk to Lily, or that some sense of shame surrounded even her sunniest thoughts about her friend, were all facts which Aegle had yet to admit to herself. It was only when she got back to Vytal a few days ahead of her friend, and upon being unable to see her friend rather than merely unwilling, that her manner had reversed. Insensitive as she was, Aegle didn't recognize the cloying, anxious feeling that accompanied this transition as guilt, but it had eaten at her until the very moment that Lily returned to the coastal city. It had come as something of a relief to speak with Lily again, and Aegle had plunged into their reintroduction with her characteristic enthusiasm and optimism. She'd been able to sense Lily's pleasure at seeing her again, too, and that had served to balm some of her half-realized concerns, and it was with nothing but the most sincere and genuine interest that Aegle talked about any subject which Lily picked. She even, as delicately as she was able, redirected any invitation to pick a topic back onto her friend. That was how they had come to discuss weapons. Aegle actually knew quite a bit about weapons, from their construction, to implementation, to strengths and weaknesses. It was an interest born from her initial, unrealistic expectation that she could fight like regular hunters did, and one she'd never wholly grown out of. Yet she had remained mostly passive throughout the conversation, making comments and providing information when pressed, but never actively interjecting anything. Which was fine. Lily had proven more than able to speak enough for them both, and Aegle's verbal indolence gave her the opportunity to follow her friend's words a bit more closely than usual. "Neat." She offered once, occasionally remarking with, "That's cool." as Lily explained her own ideas for weaponry, but more often, she just listened unless asked to participate in some momentary manner. It was as the subject turned to electroactive polymers, though Lily never referred to them as such, that Aegle's engagement in the conversation became anything more than tangential. She wasn't sure, at first, that her friend was actually talking about them, but as she developed on the description of their properties, she grew increasingly convinced. That interest rapidly died when Lily asked her to talk about her Oupis, however. " I mean, we built it together, really..." Aegle answered deferentially, with terseness that didn't quite match the lightness of her tone, and a somewhat uncertain smile that looked strangely forced for her open face. Turning away from Lily quickly, Aegle nodded at the blueprint which depicted a prototype cape of a similar design to the one Lily had proposed. " Works sorta like that, 'cept it's a bit too big for me to just carry 'round everywhere. I ain't all that strong, ya know?" Then, without letting anything she'd said take root, she carefully added, " S'gonna get awful hot, ya know?" This almost tentative way of talking had come to characterize much of their conversation since Lily's return to Vytal. " The cloak, I mean." Pointing at the blueprint with fingers no longer swathed in bandages, but wrapped up to the knuckles in traditional boxer's bindings, Aegle indicated the point where Lily's cloak would affix to her shoulders. " S'a stress point, right here. If ya try shieldin' with it, it's gonna wanna bend, and that's gonna make it get real hot." Then, after a moment of consideration, she added, " Or else it'll just knock ya down... Ya wanna support it in the middle, not on the top or bottom. Shield's don't work any other way." lilywilde |
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Post by lilywilde on Dec 6, 2016 23:30:02 GMT -6
----- Never stop Running ----- tag: --- // words: --- // notes: ---
Celia
Lily was silent for a time after what Celia said. Her hands were balled into little fists, and she struggled with the need to say something. Her ears were sharp, and she had heard quite clearly how that one sentence in particular was about to end. She nodded her head, motioning for Celia to get closer so that she could rest her forehead against her foxy friend's shoulder.
"I do now know your story, to be honest, but if that's how you feel, then you should know that we are more alike than you know." She took a few moments to let that sink in, before adding, "This isn't the first time I've taken life. Most of the other life I've taken deserved what they got. Most. These were not the first innocents I've killed either. I... I destroyed the basilica. There was this girl there, she... well.." Lily took a few deep breaths, trying to steady her breathing. She thought of Solomon, and the people he had brought to the basilica, and her heart ached.
"She was going to hurt Amber... did hurt Amber.." She said, thinking of the princess writhing on the ground in pain. "I tried to murder her. I was gonna rip out her throat, but she.. well, she tangled my arm up in her whip and some crystals pierced me. She did something more than that though, I don't know how to describe it exactly. Just... look?" She motioned to the red eye present in her arm. It was in the center of the vine-like and angry red twisting as of yet unhealed wound from the whip of St. Ash.
"When that happened, the pain, it was unreal. I couldn't think, I couldn't function, I could only scream, and run. I tried to outrun the pain. I couldn't control myself. I crashed into wall after wall after wall, until the whole thing came crashing down all around me." She remembered the brief fleeting consciousness that came before she crashed down onto the chandelier shards. "Except, it didn't just come crashing down around me. There were innocents present too. There were people who were there who... well, not everyone is a hunter or huntress in training y'know? Some people just aren't equipped to deal with a building falling in on itself. I tried to kill one person, and instead, over one hundred and forty people fell by my hand." Tears began rolling down her cheeks, and her ears flattened against her head. She felt dejected. A small trickle of blood began flowing from her palm, where her claws had pierced the base of her palm. She still held her hands in a fist, but she continued talking as if she felt nothing at all. "I didn't even kill the girl who did that to Amber.. did this to me." More tears began to fall at that, and she felt her aura bubbling up to the surface as it often did when she was under any particularly bad stress. Usually the white rays would calm her, and help her mind to steer clear of the storm. It had kept her alive in the wilderness, but muting the worst of her feelings and cloaking her against the grimm's tendency to be drawn towards negativity. Now however, it had very much the opposite effect. The now grey aura which matched the grey of Lily's gunmetal eyes. She drifted even further into her dark place. The grey aura worked like a feed back loop, enforcing every negative emotion, and killing any happiness that might have already been present in the room.
No sooner had she realized her mistake did she correct it, and forcibly suppressed the grey glow of her aura. She looked down, and shook visibly. "They broke me Celia, that woman she messed me up really bad. Down to my very soul, I'm corrupted. I.." She paused for a moment, to sniffle and compose herself. "I just... The doctors say they don't know how to fix me. I don't know if I'll ever get to go back to how I was. It isn't fair, all I did was try to protect my friends, why did this have to happen?" Tears were streaming down her face in a constant stream now, any further attempt to compose herself was cut short by wailing sob. To her credit, Lily managed to keep her aura suppressed despite the habit that caused her to set it free whenever things got too rough to handle.
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Guinevere
Lily could feel the relaxing and soothing aura coming from Guinevere the moment that took her hand. She had hesitated at first. It's true that the women were already connected, but Lily was reserved about touching others at the best of times, and right now was not the best of times. It was the knowledge that her friend was here to help her, and make her feel better that eventually pushed her to accept her invitation.
The first thing she could note from the touch was the way her pain and anguished felt a little more diffuse. She felt calmer and almost drowsy as the effect took hold. She appreciated greatly what Guinevere was trying to do for her. There was a kinship there that she couldn't possibly achieve with any other person. Her semblance was uniquely suited for establishing such connections. She envied the girl in that regard, but Lily envied many people's semblances. Another dark bubble would pop into existence as Lily felt the age old shame that she regarded her semblance with. The ability to flee faster, and leave those she loved to their fate. Her parents demise, the village besieged by the wild witch, and countless others viewed at a distance that fell to the grimm while she watched their settlement. It was rare that she would be vetting a village or town when the grimm descended upon them, but she never stayed to help.
She always ran, and she was better suited to it than any other.
Bubble after bubble popped into existence as the connection persisted, but Lily could feel Guinevere's efforts to safe guard her mind from the worst of it. That is not to say that she was wholly unaffected, but she already she felt more at ease than she had on any night since the corruption first began.
"Thank you," She whispered as she finally uncurled from her defensive position. Her legs were cramped slightly from having spent a bit of time like that. Her time in this bed was maddening, she hadn't gotten to stretch her legs for almost a week, and that alone was enough to drive the girl mad. The awful thoughts added to the claustrophobia that she experienced whenever she was alone with her thoughts. At least now, she had friends to speak with. Her only contact with a loved one prior to this had been Aegle's visit back in Legion, prior to her transfer back to Vytal.
"I mean it, thank you so much. Even if you weren't using your semblance to help, just that you came, just knowing that there are people who care... It's more than I really ever expected. I had.." She paused, using her shoulder to wipe her cheek clear once more. It had already wet itself again in spite of Guinevere's kind gesture with the pocket square. "I had always kind of expected to be alone. To think, I would still be if I hadn't died." She said with a soft, if bitter laugh. She didn't know if that was entirely true. It's possible that Fiore and her team might have found Lily and offered to bring her back if she hadn't fallen prey to the nevermore that day, but the initial trust may not have been there, and Lily could have very well fled before it got to that point.
The words slipped from her mouth before she really considered what she was saying. And she charged right past the revelation. "I didn't think much of my life these past three years, but in the short time I've been at Vytal, I really think I've found something worth living for. Even if I am broken, I can still be here where the people who care about me are. Maybe one day I'll figure out how to be closer to normal, broken or not."
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Aegle
"M'sorry"
The words brought a puzzled expression to Lily's face again, she had no idea what she'd said which might beg an apology from Aegle.
"N-no, please don't be." She said, putting one hand over Aegle's on Lily's stomach.
"I... I only meant to say.. To share all of that with you because I don't figure there are many people in the world who could possibly know what that's like. You... Your story... I can't say that I understand anything about how life has been for you. With that always hanging over your head." She was crying again, the stupid tears wouldn't stop. And as Aegle moved to hug her, she leaned into the hug and said. "I... I can't imagine, but I can't pity you either. You didn't let it break you. You kept on fighting, no matter what you fought for everything that you have. You fought and I..." I ran. "Nevermind. Just... Thank you for telling me all of that. I'm just happy that someone so amazing is my friend." She pushed her forehead against Aegle's, and stayed there for a minute.
She wanted to say a hundred different things right then and there. She didn't trust her voice to say much. She couldn't bring herself to say that she wanted to be more like Aegle, for fear that she'd take it as a comment about her illness. She didn't like the idea of holding her tongue for fear of touching on a delicate subject though. That wasn't the kind of person Lily was, nor was it the kind of person she thought she would want as a friend if she were Aegle.
"You are the kind of person I want to be like, y'know? I wanna be strong in the way that you're strong. No matter what's ahead, no matter what's behind, I wanna be able to do everything I can here and now."
She hoped that she could show Aegle how much she respected her with that, but she didn't trust herself. Often, her words betrayed her. She was hardly skilled with them, and she wielded them without tact. She just tried to find the best way to say whatever she was thinking at that point in time. She knew that once she let them start coming out of her, they started pouring forth like a faucet with both knobs turned. Sometimes small points got blown up into huge speeches, and her recent monologue was one such example of something small getting away from her. She wanted to be sure that Aegle knew exactly what she had intended to say though, no matter how much she had to fumble to find the right way to say it.
"I.. just, when you told me all of that, told me how you felt when they told you that you would die... I... I just wanted to connect a little. I wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, and, to be honest, I still think that I'm going to die before my time. I'm going to fight, and keep on fighting until I can't fight any more. I won't let what happened stop me. If that woman beat me, if she were the end of my ambition, then I what good would I be? If I stopped here, in this bed, and never tried to do what I can for this world before some grimm, or some cultist, or.. or who knows what, takes me out, then I'll be failing you, and all of the people who I've come to care about since I came to Vytal. I can't stop, and I won't stop... and... and" She was rambling again, and she didn't know where she was going again. "And I guess I just want you to know that I am going to keep relying on you some more for a while. So you can't ever give up either, 'caus I need you not to. It's easier for me to keep on giving it my all when I know that you are doing the same out there somewhere."
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Aegle/Solomon
Lily listened to Aegle's advice on the stress point, and the general construction of the shield in general. She had not had long to educate herself on the finer points of weapon craftsmanship.
"I uhh actually had no idea. I guess now that you mention it, my dad wielded his shield from the middle too." She was grinning though. Even though she'd messed up, and would need to rework the design a little bit to fix it, she was glad to have learned a little bit.
"Hey! I have an idea! Why don't you help me out with these blueprints a bit? I honestly don't know much about how to make a weapon, let how to design one. I kinda threw these together 'caus I thought they would be nice to have. If you know more about how to make them effective though, I'd sincerely appreciate the design tips." She smiled freely. In these moments, she was almost able to forget everything that'd happened to her in the past ten days. Plus, if the cloak is kinda like your Oupis, then you should have experience designing similar stuff like this!"
Her ears were standing atop her head, reflecting her almost perky mood.
Lily had been down a lot lately, but the show of support from her many friends had shown Lily that she still had plenty of good in her life, even if her aura had gone bad. Her friends had never once treated her like she was a monster, or a freak, now that she'd changed her color. It was a relief, and it had saved Lily for the moment. There were still bad times ahead, but she knew that she could face them with their help.
"What else do you know about weapons? How much have you gotten to study about 'em? You mentioned your brother is really good at all of that stuff," she said recalling how highly Aegle had seemed to regard that brother in particular when she'd spoken previously about her family. "You probably know way more than I do." Lily was rapidly catching up with her peers in some regards, but there were other things that a bit of book learning hastily absorbed amidst a pile of other literature could never teach. She wanted to be sure that when she made her weapons, they were as good as they could be. There was no telling when the smallest detail might be of great importance. She wasn't proud enough to die for a weapon that wasn't crafted properly.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2016 6:22:55 GMT -6
Guinevere smiled to Lily as she unfolded a bit. It seemed the relaxation things were helping, if only slowly. “It’s no problem. I do this a lot more than you might think.” She cocked her head in the direction of a ward on the far side of the hospital; Lily probably wouldn’t know what she was directing to, but it was the maternity ward. “Sometimes new moms need some help calming an infant, and I can help them figure out why lil’ Ozzy is crying.” She let a soft chuckle rumble her chest. She still didn’t understand why some infants were just afraid of the nebulous color turquoise, even if they had never seen it, but they were for some reason.
Inside, Guinevere was going Kung-Fu fighting with bubbles. That one was dark, so she mentally rushed over to it and gave it a couple good backhands or kicks. Eventually, the thing split into a significantly lighter bubble and a completely black one. Unfortunately, to prevent these form passing Lily’s mind, Guinevere had to take those onto her mind. A blink, a tense, and she would get the negative things that bubble was emphasizing. Running, killing dying – they were all run-of-the-mill for her mind to process; though everyone’s pains were different and affected her differently. She wouldn’t tell Lily about what things she was seeing doing this, but needless to say, the cloud of dark bubbles was slowly, surely producing a steady stream of smaller, but far lighter bubbles. Some even had a flame like twinkle to them in her mind. Woo.
Popping back out to the hospital room, she smiled again at Lily’s comment. Inside, the whole death bubble was one she was tossing around a bit like a hot potato in her hands and juggling it with other bubbles she was letting pass at the moment. She’d figure out something to do with it. “Well, one thing to say about the people here is that a lot are more broken up than we might show. But around so many others who have walked similar paths,” for some reason, most people here as upperclassmen were here because of some tragedy – or they were upholding a family legacy of some sort, “we find support. We have people who can help us learn to cope and come out ahead. Even at Cela, people find a way to suppress or remove what the Void and Grimm do. And that place is supposed to be holy.”
She giggled at her comment, and continued stroking Lily’s hair with her free hand, having paused for a moment. “I mean, look at me. I get a glimpse of what you’ve got going on right now every time I step into a single Grimm. Do it for the five or six I usually have, and you can see how it gets a bit of a wear.” A small pause as she took a breath to hold back anything that might bubble over. “But that shadow’s a part of what lets me work to help others.” She turned her face to check how Lily was doing. She had been tossing some of those drowsy feelings in where she could, and was half expecting to see the girl start nodding off. Nodding or not, she smiled towards Lily with the turn of her head; luckily her left side faced the bed, so she could still make a bit of eye contact with her.
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Post by Aegle Vitus on Dec 9, 2016 3:36:19 GMT -6
A few moments of silence passed after Lily's combined attempt at encouragement and entreaty for reassurance. It wasn't all that surprising. Aegle frequently needed a few moments to process the things that were said to her, especially things said in any great volume. But the tone of this silence was much deeper. She understood first that she'd misjudged Lily's words, but also understood more fully that she was out of her depth. The sting of having her relatively easy life compared with Lily's lingered in her heart, and Lily's efforts to relieve it had served as little more than a balm for the pain. She couldn't not see it, even if she trusted her friend had not meant to draw the parallel the way she thought her friend had. But it was Lily's very effort to relieve that pain, and all the words that had come after, which had really given Aegle something to think about. The difficulty that entailed, and the lengths which Aegle went to in order to really understand how she felt could be seen playing across her face. It was downcast now, staring not at Lily, but at her chest. While Aegle rested with her forehead to her friend's, her eyes lingered vacantly over the faunus girl's heart, while the difficulty, confusion, frustration and hopeless acceptance all played across her pale countenance. Then, drawing back only slightly, her eyes finally met with Lily's again, and the whole tragedy played out again. In her expression, she conveyed the utmost dread, desperate certainty, followed by frustration and confusion, before settling on grim determination.
"I mean..." Aegle said quietly, looking hard at Lily and feeling the twisted knot her words had put in her stomach. She shifted where she stood, as if she were suddenly very aware of how hard it was for her, of all people, to be bent over Lily's bed the way she was. How hard it was for her, of all people, to be the one to tell Lily she was wrong. "I wouldn't want you to be like me."
It was her wont to let conversations get away from her, to let words and ideas flicker out in the cavern of her mind, but she couldn't let this conversation slip between her fingers. It was important. Aegle wasn't sure why, but she felt certain it was.
"M'not a good person to wanna be like." she told Lily without even the slightest hint of humility. Then, pulling away till she could be comfortable, Aegle looked at Lily in a way that seemed at once reflective and pensive, which were not expression her face wore easily. She was thinking about how to make Lily understand what she meant, and was frustrated that the feeling was there but that she couldn't find the right words to express it. She didn't want to compare herself to Lily, nor to decide which of them was better, but she didn't want Lily to aspire to be like her either. Not when she understood what being like her was like.
"I dunno how you do it." Aegle confessed softly, her jaw working as she searched her limited vocabulary for the words she needed, "Like, you have ideas about stuff, and you think about things. And you feel things. Like, actual things..."
Silence ensued again, and she let the silence hang while she thought, working through and then discarding things as they came to mind.
"And you think about how things feel. You know what its like to feel things the way other people do, and you worry about it, cause you worry about how people feel." The words that Aegle was looking for were 'Empathy' and 'Compassion', but her mind didn't suggest them to her, even as she searched everywhere for the. Empathy and Compassion which, as far as she was concerned, went hand in hand with Lily's intelligence, and her capacity to think about what she did. There was, in Aegle's mind, a purity and honesty to it. She did embarrassing things, understood why they were embarrassing, was thereby embarrassed by them, and then resolved to not do them again. The same could be said for hurting someone's feelings, or making someone angry. But Aegle couldn't put those words, which existed only as a feeling somewhere in the back of her head, into a sentence she could speak.
"You know how to think and worry and feel..."
Her brows knit together as her voice, usually bright and bombastic, became soft and subdued. Then she shook her head, frustration flashed briefly across her face, ever the window to her soul, only to be replaced once again by that look of grim acceptance. For a moment, it seemed like exactly what Lily had worried about would happen, that Aegle would get the wrong idea from what she'd said, or misread her intentions. That her brain had, once again, latched onto something Lily hadn't even intended, and fixated upon it.
"Y'don't wanna be strong like me, Lily. You gotta be strong in your own way. The way that lets you feel things and worry about what could happen if you don't do the right thing."
But Aegle had understood all too clearly. She knew exactly what sort of strength Lily was talking about, and she was in the uncommon position of knowing exactly where that strength came from.
"This world needs people like you, who can know if they'll hurt someone, worry about how they might hurt someone, and cry if they do."
With that thought, Aegle reached out and dabbed Lily's eyes for her, using the bandages that covered her hands.
"People who can be scared that they can't go on and scared that they might not be good enough. Who're smart enough to know if they can win and smart enough to run if they can't."
Arm trembling again, Aegle lowered her hand to Lily's chest and laid it directly over top of her heart.
"I think you can beat this thing. Whatever that lady did to you, I think you're better than it. But not cause you're strong like I am. You're a whole 'nother kinda strong, a strong that's better than me. A strong that will let you change the world and make things better."
And yet, even after all that, Aegle still felt like it was inadequate, like she'd left something unsaid. Like there was something important, some fundamental piece of information, that she'd failed to include; Something she'd omitted because she didn't know the right words. She felt it so keenly, and could just as easily feel the thing she'd left out, but it existed in the darkened part of her mind. The part where only emotions resided, all of them inexpressible because she lacked the words to express them. She wrestled with the feeling and, failing to know its name, tried to find where it had come from instead. It was a laborious process, complete with Aegle mouthing the words of Lily's speech to try and find the one which caused it. Only then she realized that it hadn't come from anything Lily had said. Neither about herself nor her feelings. It was something that Aegle had carried in with her, and which she'd been carrying with her for half her life, ever since Paeon had told her what nobody else would. Reaching up with her free hand, Aegle touched her own heart through her hospital gown.
"S'somethin' inside of me..." She said at last, turning the conversation back to herself, "Somethin' that doesn't let me be afraid anymore." She felt her heart and she felt Lily's, and felt how one beat quicker than the other, and thought about how she didn't need to look at her hands to know which.
"And it ain't like there's somethin' there," Looking at Lily, she willed her friend to understand, even when she didn't fully understand herself. "But like there's somethin' missin', and I can feel the hole it left behind."
Curling her hand, she formed a fist over her heart, while her eyes stared into Lily's and looked for any hint of comprehension. Begging her to understand, and explain what it meant.
"And I don't know if I ought to be scared, but I can't be even if I try..." But she left it there, trailing off just like she had every other time she'd gotten started talking about herself. Whether it was because she assumed Lily didn't want or need to hear it, or because she couldn't stand how frustrating trying to find the words was, Aegle slipped into silence and let her hand drop from her chest. She still felt inadequate, even after her last ditch effort to make the words work, and couldn't think of what to say next.
So she didn't say anything.
"Mostly I know 'bout cutting edges and stuff. Like how a blade wants to sit and how to draw and slice." Aegle answered softly, unhelpful in her brevity, while she kept her eyes on the schematics. They looked a lot like similar schematics that had to be drawn up when she constructed the Oupis, but there were details and artifacts on some of them that she didn't understand. She got the basics, like orientations and scale, but the more esoteric and arcane keys, denoting things like material and engineering hard points, were mostly lost on her.
"And points of impact. Like how ya wanna hit with the smallest area ya can. And stress points too." Stress points had been a big thing when it came to her weapon's construction, which had been a ludicrously ambitious project even without making it integrate with the brace the way it did.
"Lotsa hunter weapons gotta be reinforced, cause their adaptive designs mean they got a lotta small stuff; Stuff that can break." It was a problem that was especially prevalent in mechanized weapons, like the grappling hook claw that Lily had just proposed, and Aegle shuffled the blueprints before her around to try and find a good example.
"See here?" She said finally, finding the blueprint of the prototype claw's firing mechanism. "All this small stuff, for feedin' and retractin' wire? S'all gotta be fitted snug, so it can't move around when you're slashin' things up. Movement is bad, movement is how things got knocked out of place and broken. Ya want s'little of it as possible."
Then, as a bit of an after thought, she turned over the schematic and scrutinized the back, but it too was written with some characters she didn't recognize and her efforts to comprehend the greater intricacies of its design were in vain. Laying it back down, she drummed her fingers thoughtfully and restlessly.
"S'gonna get hot too."
It was an off handed comment, more to herself that to Lily, as she stared at the return assembly. She didn't think it would melt, but then she couldn't tell what it was meant to be made from either, and seizing up was always a concern with such intricate designs.
"My Oupis vents out the back. S'got all these little channels in the under the hood to draw the heat away out. Could probably set up somethin' like that here, but it would make it real noisy..."
Right on cue, Aegle's stomach gave an indignant growl, as if to let both girls know what constituted 'noisy'. Just a few hours prior, Aegle had visited Lily during her lunch break. She'd made a habit of it since Lily's return to Vytal, despite the fact that some days left a larger time window, during which eating and visiting could occur. Some days, however, did not. Today was such a day, and Lily vehemently instructed Aegle to get something to eat when she'd left. Now there was nothing to say that Aegle hadn't actually had something to eat, only to be struck by hunger a few hours later anyway. Nothing, save for the sheepish expression she directed towards Lily, the sort of expression that said 'I just realized I didn't do something and am now hoping not to be called out on it'
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Post by Celia Abbott on Dec 13, 2016 6:30:34 GMT -6
Lily motioned to her, and she understood. She brought her chair closer and sat back down, leaning in so her friend could rest against her shoulder. As Lily began to recount her tale, Celia wrapped an arm around her friend. As the events came to light one by one, Celia understood very clearly the weight on Lily's shoulders. There was more to the story than she had originally thought, which had been...surprisingly, in a cruel way. Her gaze danced over the eye on Lily's arm as she gestured to it, and something flashed through her in that instance. A lance of pain, hopelessness, despair, a taste of the everlasting effects of whatever it was that had poisoned the girl. The crystal thrummed rapidly against her head, as if it were cackling at her misfortune. She could feel her body tense ever so slightly as the feeling lingered for a moment, and then she allowed herself to relax.
Tears rolled down Lily's cheeks and Celia hugged her closer, gently running a hand across her shoulder, in the same kind of comforting gesture her mom used to do for her. She felt cold. Not like ice, but...colder than a person should be. Lily's aura flared for a little bit, and it was equally strange. Whatever it was, the crystal reacted to it harshly, bombarding Celia's mind with images from her past - particularly, that one, snowy night when she was 12 years old. She remembered it oh so well, the feeling of numbness leeching into her bones as she pulled her old, ratty cloak closer to keep the snow and wind out. The way her body ached and her lungs burned, how she could barely hold her sword any longer. Faces...bodies...so many people, but yet they were all the same.
They were hers.
That was the first time Celia had used the drawback of her ability to reinforce her training. The pain it brought her upon victory was a brutal lesson she taught herself. Victory achieved through violence was necessary sometimes, but it was hollow and painful. To take a life was indeed to lose a piece of yourself, to reject what makes you a person, bit by bit. Her own aura flared in response, to try and calm the storm, but she knew it would not reach her friend. It couldn't. She couldn't. The anguished cry that Lily let out hurt something deep inside her. It was...strange, to her ears. It was unique, but familiar to her. The heartache was something she didn't understand.
She held her friend close, letting the sobbing die down as she did her best to comfort the broken girl. "I suppose," She began, "It could be said that I have taken lives." Her tone was distant, removed from reality. Her mind was somewhere deep within herself, searching for something it had no chance of finding. Threads tangled together and pieces fell into spaces they wouldn't fit, and everything became clouded by the sheer weight of what she was being told. The dust thrummed happily, purring softly like a cat. "It could also be said that I don't regret it." She loosened her grip noticeably, but she maintained the contact. Something within her had grown sullen as things began to right themselves once more. She thought of her father, all of the good he had done for them, all his bravery and strength, and how one day, he was just...gone. She would never see him again, for reasons well beyond her control. "Sometimes, bad things just...happen. They aren't meant as punishments, or to teach lessons, or anything greater." Her voice quivered, but she couldn't cry. She felt tired. "Sometimes, the world just wants to spin a certain way. We can't stop the world from doing what it wants. We would have better luck trying to move a mountain."
She let out a sigh, of defeat, of fatigue, and of despair. "I'm...not telling you to "just get over it." I know it doesn't work like that. Believe me. But this...none of this is your fault. You didn't hurt anyone." Her hand passed over the eye, and over the black veins on Lily's arm. "This did. And you stopped this, as best you could. Things...could have gone a lot worse. But you were able to get it under control. Many are not so strong. You faced an enemy that was too strong for you, and because of your efforts, there were survivors. Anyone lesser than you, perhaps even many stronger than you, would have...they would given in to this."
She pulled back from the hug and held her friend at arms length, with her head bowed low enough to obscure her eyes. "There are...things I want to tell you. Things you should know - about me, what I am, and I am meant to be. If you wish to wait, then I will wait. But trust me when I say - I understand you far better than you know."
Except I know it's my fault.
...met before? |
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Post by lilywilde on Dec 13, 2016 20:23:57 GMT -6
----- Never stop Running ----- tag: --- // words: --- // notes: --- Guinevere
Lily found herself sinking further into the bed. She looked at Guinevere appreciatively. "Feels, not so bad..." She said nestling into her bedding. She could feel the sting being removed from the worst of her memories in real time, and before long, only the lighter memories flooded her mind. While it didn't fix her immediate problems, or cover up the reality of Lily's situation, it did allow her to feel slightly more at ease. As the seeds of darker memories formed, and were subsequently snuffed out, Lily found tangentially related memories taking their place. What may have been a memory of Amber being stabbed at the basilica became a memory of Amber and Lily shopping together.
What was likely a memory of Aegle and her other friends present at the basilica before the fall, became memories of the times spent at school with all of her friends.
She had other memories floating around as well. Thoughts of her parents. Nights spent around the campfire, or in a cave somewhere. Each night, one of Lily's parents would curl up with their young kitten while the other took first watch. Her mother was warm, and small. Her grip was always powerful when she embraced Lily. It was warm, and always so incredibly intimate. Lily knew that her mother would go to the ends of Remnant in order to protect her. Those moments before Lily drifted off to sleep were always special to her. Her mother was always a hothead for the most part, and when she wasn't riled up about something or another, she was very genteel. It was only in those moments at night that she could feel her mother's affection in earnest.
Her father, when it was her mother's turn to take first watch, would often hold her in his colossal arms and tell her stories. Things he claimed to have learned when he was young. These stories had always touched Lily, but she'd always wondered why she'd not heard any of them from the tribal story tellers.
She yawned a bit, feeling the happy memories and the drowsy sensations take gradually increasing effect. The her eyes would occasionally slide shut, and she'd snap her head back up as she drifted in and out of a sleepy stupor. she yawned, and attempted to stretch her arms only to have the restraints clatter against the bed railings.
She realized then that Guinevere was talking. She was speakong about friends, and her experience with grimm, and she shuddered. Perhaps Guinevere was used to the turmoil that Lily was experiencing, but the thought didn't sit well with Lily. The pain and agony that she'd experienced in the recent days had been some of the worst that Lily had ever had to deal with, and the young faunus' life had been full of pain. That Guinevere might have had to deal with anything worse was not only hard for Lily to believe, but incredibly tragic in and of itself. She wanted to reach out and give Guin a hug, but having recently been reminded of her restraints didn't bother. Instead, she only said "It must be hard... I don't think I'd be able to do that. If you're ever on the field of battle with me, I will do whatever I can to make sure you-" She paused and yawned, sinking into her covers a little. "sure that you don't have to use your gift in such a way." Her eyes were closed as she spoke, and her voice was soft and sleepy.
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Aegle
Lily listened as Aegle spoke. Many times she opened her mouth to speak just as Aegle was trying to say something. She found herself listening intently, soaking up every word like a sponge. What Aegle was saying made sense. Lily considered the way that Aegle always acted, how she was different. It was that difference that had endeared the girl to Lily in the first place. She placed a hand over Aegle's on her chest, and squeezed gently.
"I... I guess I didn't really think of it like that." She said quietly at first.
"I have trouble seeing the good in myself, I have for... well, the past three years at least. Maybe it started when I was a little girl though. I always saw everyone around me as being a person to live up to. Someone to emulate, someone to strive to be more like. Every figure that's ever been close to me has inspired that desire, so it makes sense that you would as well. I admire you a lot. I guess that I should try to see the ways in which I'm good too..."
A silence followed the small realization spurred on by Aegle's words.
"But," the word rang out in the quiet hospital room. "just because you're different, does not make you any less wonderful. Who says you need to work the same way that everyone else does to be good? I know that I don't, and I know that you don't. I might have a wider range of emotion, but you've got as much heart as anyone I know." she tried to lean up then, but the restraints held her down again.
"Oh for crying out loud," she said finally frustrated enough with the restraints to do something about them. In a flash of gray light she activated her semblance. The thin metal of the hand cuffs were no match for the insanity that was mach four speeds. Before deactivating her semblance, Lily plucked any piece of loose metal out of the air. The sense of intense depression that came on whenever she used her aura hit her, but Lily took it in stride. She leaned over to her friend, and returned the hug that she so graciously gave her not moments ago.
"Regardless of why you are brave, you are. Maybe something is missing inside of you, something that lets you be scared. Maybe you can feel that hole inside of you and wish it were full of something." She started, wondering herself exactly where she was going with the little speech, but too inundated with the need to say the right thing to stop babbling until she found it. "To me though, that doesn't matter. Because of that, you're here with me now. And, for what it's worth, I think you can make the world better too. The two of us, together, could do a lot. We're strong in different ways, but I think knowing you has been really good for me." A few tears fell down and stained the back of Aegle's shirt. "It's just..." her voice was quavering. She knew she should just shut up and think about her words for a minute, but she couldn't stop herself. "I'll be scared for you okay? So don't worry about stuff like that, and just keep being the wonderful, honest, direct, and incredible girl that you are. In return, I'll try to be a littler bit nicer to myself." She buried her face in Aegle's shoulder then, and squeezed as tight as she could muster.
The silence stretched on for a while as Lily finally calmed down enough to process what Aelge had said, and what all she had babbled about. She pulled away a little bit, to wipe a few tears, and look Aegle in the eyes. "You might have lost your fear when you resigned yourself to death. Please don't cut the time you do have short though. I'll stick by your side and make sure to do my best to make sure you make it all the way to twenty five. Don't leave the people who care about you until you don't have any other option. And don't worry about not being able to be a scaredy cat, I'll take care of that for you."
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Aegle/Solomon
Lily considered Aegle's critiques of her weapon designs, occasionally nodding. While she had studied up on how to build a weapon and draw schematics, all of these tips were nuances that had previously been lost on Lily. "Maybe once everything is in place, we could use some glass dust to kinda fill in any empty spaces so nothing moves? Or would that just make it so that the moving parts can't move?" Her ears twitched a bit as she concentrated on the problem in front of her. She didn't really understand how to improve on the design, but she was a novice with no formal engineering schooling. She made a mental note to sit in on some of the engineering classes at some point. She wasn't enrolled in them, but she doubted the teachers would argue if she explained herself ahead of time. She shifted uncomfortably in her course sterile sheets, trying to find a more relaxed position as she considered possible solutions.
She then considered the problem of noise, and puzzled over that a bit. "Solomon used ice dust in his myomar fabric stuff, I dunno if that was for any purpose or not, but maybe we could use some ice dust to keep it cool? Then again, maybe a little noise wouldn't matter. If my opponent were unaware of me, then my first strike against them is gonna be faster than the sound anyway. I dunno, any ideas on how to reduce the noi-" she stopped for a second as she heard Aegle's stomach growling
"You didn't eat anything yet did you?" She said giggling softly. Aegle looked like a puppy who was about to get scolded. "Well, I haven't either. Any chance you could run to the hospital cafeteria and grab us a few meals? I like fish and meat." She said with a grin. "After you get back, if we still have time, we could figure out the remaining problems with my claws. If not, well, I should be getting out of here in another day or two, so I can always come find you once I'm finally free." She tried not to laugh out loud any further. Lily found Aegle's reluctance to go get food incredibly endearing. Not least because she knew that she'd likely do the exact same kind of stuff if it were the roles were reversed. She smiled mischievously at her friend, regarding her with an almost conspiratorial gaze.
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Celia
Lily continued to sob into Celia's arms as the foxy faunus held her. She listened as Celia began speaking, hiding her face in the girl's shoulder and crying freely.
She wasn't terribly surprised to find that Celia had claimed lives. Many people, even in the kingdoms, couldn't avoid that harsh reality. She was also proud that Celia refused to regret those lives claimed. For her part, Lily only regretted the innocent lives she'd taken. Those felled in the basilica, and the young man in the duster coat that'd visited her campsite so many months ago.
She listened somberly as Celia began speaking on the nature of the world. Her tears slowly dried up, but she kept her face nestled just where it was. She'd occasionally sniffle, but that was the extent of her interruptions as Celia spoke more freely. She tried to envision any possible way that the situation could have been any less terrible. She failed to protect amber, failed to stop the horrible woman and her companion from escaping, destroyed an ancient piece of architecture, and killed nearly one-hundred and fifty people. She shook her head, thinking about all of that, but something Celia was saying caught her attention, and she was able to focus on that instead.
"What does giving into this even look like? I am corrupted by it. I doubt that giving in looks much different. I just wasn't given a choice, I guess, is the main difference." She paused then, considering the last thing that Celia had said. What could her friend be concealing? What might be so important that she had to tell Lily so desperately? What did she mean with that very last line?
"I... If you have something that must be said to me, then please feel free to speak. You are my friend. Nothing you can tell me will change that fact. You have nothing to fear. Just..." She trembled for a few minutes, pulling far enough away from Celia to look her in the eyes properly. "Just don't get caught up with what you're meant to be unless it's important to who you are. Our futures aren't set in stone, and... well," something about the tone Celia had taken informed Lily that she wasn't overjoyed about the whole 'what I was meant to be' thing. "If you ever wanna be something different, then we can figure that out together. I'll shut up now, If I keep going any longer I'll start babbling. Please, say your piece." All she could do after that was listen, and hope that whatever Celia had to say wasn't too much for her to handle as she was now. She didn't really know if she was suited to dealing with whatever Celia might say, but she did know that it'd be nice to focus on anybody else's problems right now, so that she wouldn't have to think about her own. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2016 21:32:36 GMT -6
Guinevere was starting to slump back in her chair a bit – relaxing while she beat around some of the bubbles coming at her. She was glad her mental efforts were not in vain. She caught glimpses of Lily’s past in dueling with the bubbles, but she tried not to dwell on any too long – she had to quickly work through them if she hoped to give Lily a steady stream of comfort.
The increasingly drowsy Lily also reassured Guinevere. It had been a while since she had done something like this for someone, and was glad that she could still work her magic to help someone sleep. With all the havoc her Aura could wreak on some less fortunate souls, she was pleased in her knowledge and capacity to help others. She noticed Lily rousing slightly, a little disappointed that they had her shackled to the bed. She wanted to undo the locks but she would probably be in a bit of trouble if she got caught doing so. She smirked at the number of times people had tried various ways to bind her, only to have the bindings unravel themselves due to her semblance.
She felt the hug coming from Lily, or at least the desire to give one and smiled. The concern she received was comforting, though Guinevere had pretty much accepted the fact she’d get a little bit of pain in fighting some Grimm, just because she really didn’t like showing what she could really do all that often. Still, she smiled and accepted Lily’s words. If there ever were a time when freshmen and sophomores were fighting together, it would probably be because of something far larger than a single Grimm, and at that point, strength was in numbers – regardless of the source.
Seeing Lily huddle more under the covers, she didn’t respond a great deal, wanting her to be able to get some sleep. Instead, she just sent over a small happy note – an inaudible thanks for her comments.
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Post by Celia Abbott on Dec 13, 2016 22:03:02 GMT -6
She released her grip on Lily’s shoulders, and allowed her arms to dangle at her sides. Her head remained bowed, her eyes obscured, and her voice distant. “I wish,” She began, in a hollow and bitter tone, “That I could choose my fate. But for people like me, people that bear my name and my blood, such things are just not possible.”
The clone was afraid. Its eyes were wide and wild, scanning the room for something, anything that could help, but it found nothing. It turned to its master, concerned, and placed a hand on her knee. Celia didn’t even flinch. Her own hand rested on the clone’s head, and the clone understood. It set the pot of soup that it had been carefully holding on the counter, where it sat and began to cool. It knelt beside Celia, with its head bowed, and closed its eyes. Someone with keen eyes might have noticed a slight trembling in the clone’s shoulders, but whether it was crying from despair, or from fear, was not immediately discernible.
“I am an Abbott. I received this name from my father, who bore it with pride as both a Hunter, and a warrior. The Abbotts are a family of soldiers, defenders of the kingdoms, infallibly loyal to those they serve.” Her grip on the clone’s skull tightened, and it tensed in her grasp, but it dared not move. “It is said that many in the Abbott family are so driven, so zealous in their efforts, that they intentionally mutilate themselves in order to replace their weaker or less effective body parts with mechanical augmentations.” The clone flashed, splintering cracks of flickering reds and yellows flashing across its skin in uneven, bunched patterns like lightning bolts. The pieces burned away into smokeless ember, and left behind a standard clone - a perfect mirror of Celia herself. The quivering stopped, and the clone simply accepted its position beneath the hand of its master. “The augments run on Void dust, and are exceptionally powerful tools in capable hands. Unfortunately, those who use such augments do not often live long. There is a...a “Corruption,” as you put it. It eats away at them, from the inside. Until there is nothing left.”
She remembered well the final few days she had spent with her father before his death, and even the months before. He was distant, reserved, his speech patterns were strange and almost sporadic, as if he couldn’t keep track of what conversations he was supposed to be a part of. He was distant, and often lost himself to thought and forgot where he was and what he was doing. For a long time, Marcie thought he was sick, but Minette had said that he just...was like that, sometimes. He would talk in his sleep, of things Celia dared not repeat. The words alone still gave her nightmares of her own.
“My father was like that, I believe. He hid it well, but I knew there was something wrong.” Her grip softened, and she ran her fingers through the clone’s hair. It seemed to tense up for a moment and then relax, as if confused by the sudden change in attitude. “And then, there is my mother’s family. the Beaumonts. The family my semblance comes from.” She gently rocked the clone’s head back and forth, and it did not protest or resist in any way. As she kept her head bowed, Celia smiled to herself. It was….empty. It was the smile of a girl who knew pain, but had long ago realized that resisting it was a pointless endeavor. To embrace it, to accept it, was the only true path. “My Semblance is one of three that run in the family. We, who hold the Refracted light of our own souls, are warriors. We crave battle. We embrace pain. We bring kingdoms to their knees. We are tools, weapons to be aimed at the enemies of those who hold our reins.”
Marcie had long warned her away from contact with her family, and Celia’s interaction with her aunt Giselle had told her why. Giselle was a patriot to her nation, and absurdly loyal to her family. She had the same semblance, and had explained much of this to Celia on the night that she had met Alice. Marcie had only confirmed it when they got back into contact. Giselle...was a lot like her, Celia could tell. She had no real purpose, she lived to serve others. She just had a different idea of who was worthy of serving. Still, Giselle served as a mirror into her own future. Celia was a warrior, by blood, by name, and by life. She took lives in pursuit of a cause she believed in, be it noble or otherwise, with no regard for her own safety.
“Tell me, Lily.” Her movement stopped. An icy chill slipped into her voice. “Have you ever seen yourself die?” The pressure on the clone’s skull came back in full force, and it kept its head bowed, silent and unmoving. “Have you watched the last fragments of life drain from your eyes as your body scatters into tiny particles of light?” The clone whimpered, only slightly, but it was audible. The pressure only increased. “I have.”
Before things could venture any further, Celia stopped. The clone faded into light and travelled up her arm, beneath her sleeve, and seemed to disappear. It was absorbed, and its aura was added back into her own. “I feel their pain, when they die. I feel every ounce of their agony, unhindered by aura defenses. I feel their presence fade, and their aura disappear.” Her hand held aloft, her fingers closed into a loose fist around the air. “I fight them. It’s how I train. I am the most difficult opponent I could ever face, because I will always stand equal with myself. But I know my own weaknesses, too - and we both exploit them.”
She brought her closed hand up to her face, and uncurled her fingers. A small red dust crystal sat in her palm, dim, and mostly used. “I have spoken with them. They are not entirely like me, they seem...different. Independent, with slightly different thought processes. Especially the dust ones. They...they talk to me, like people. Not as pieces of me, but as entities that are separate from myself.” She dropped the dust to the ground where, with it’s power all but extinguished, it shattered into pieces. “And still, I kill them. I take their lives when I defeat them, and I bear the pain of my own death. Over. And over. And over again.”
She let out a small laugh, and something shiny fell from her face. She was crying. “It doesn’t even phase me anymore, Lily. I don’t care. I don’t care about killing, I don’t care about dying. I don’t feel anything when I do it.” The dust...it began to react, but not to Lily this time. The violent reaction it had, the deep, ethereal thrumming she felt within her bones, it was a reaction to her own emotion. Ever since her father died, she had carried this crystal with her. Who was to say it hadn’t seeped into her bit by bit whenever she had used her aura? The laughter, it grew louder, and more panicked, and Celia rested her face in her hands. It continued, slowly fading, tears still streaming down her face. She couldn’t look at her friend anymore. “I’ve killed myself. Hundreds of times. And I will do it hundreds more, because it will make me stronger. After all…” Her tone changed then, at those last few words. Gone was the hollow, broken girl. Now was the despairing girl, who hurt for her friend, for herself, for those she had lost, and those she feared she would lose soon.
“Strength is all I have.”
...met before? |
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Post by Aegle Vitus on Dec 20, 2016 22:25:01 GMT -6
This whole thinking before speaking thing was even harder than Aegle remembered it being. Her's was not a mind well suited to multitasking, putting her at a grave disadvantage in deep discussions, where it was important to hold onto things other than just the vague theme of the conversation. That being said, a task needed to be more than difficult to stop Aegle from doing it, but boy wasn't she growing tired of it. For as badly as she wanted to be there for Lily and to say all the right things and do all the right things to make things a little easier for her, she was growing steadily exhausted by the enterprise. Then Lily snapped her chains, and Aegle wondered why they had even been there in the first place if they could be shattered so easily, and every other thought went sliding out of her head like butter on a hot pan. Thoughts that were sorely missed when Lily moved in a moment later and gave her, what felt to Aegle at least, a reassuring hug. Arms, trembling with the effort, rose to wrap weakly around the faunus girl's back, and Aegle sighed quietly into her shoulder. Lily said some more words and Aegle listened, all the while wondering when this conversation had become about comforting her. Then she remembered how Lily being like her had made her feel, that hot, sour sensation that haunted the very back of her mind, and she remembered. She wished she had the words to tell Lily how she felt, to make things out clearer than she had, but she couldn't talk the way the faunus girl could, and knew that every word she said would probably be answered by ten more that she'd have just as much difficulty understanding. Sometimes it was better to know your limits than to try to overcome them, especially when failure meant hurting someone you cared about. Such thoughts felt awkward and unfamiliar in Aegle's head, but she had failed to make herself clear to Lily enough times to know it was likely a task she wasn't up to.
So Aegle remained silent.
She thought about what Lily said, how she shouldn't go chasing after her own death, and didn't disagree with her. She knew any disagreement she did voice would be voiced poorly, and likely be answered with Lily's more talented words. Aegle was in no hurry to die, but die she must, and far sooner than most. It seemed pretty laughable to her, to think that a few extra months or years would make much a difference. If all she had wanted was a few extra months, she would have dropped out of Vytal and gone back to Legion. It wasn't about time. It had never been about time. But Aegle couldn't even begin to communicate any of that. How could she possibly explain that to someone like Lily, who had a whole life to look forward to?
"Hey, don't worry 'bout me." Aegle said finally, a smile forming on her face, even while it remained hidden against the side of Lily's head. "I can take care of myself. Just worry 'bout you feelin' better, yeah?"
They were all chasing their own deaths, and they would all catch up in the end. It was just a matter of choosing how quickly you ran and the route you took. Some people only got to pick the short and direct route, and ran as hard as they could along it. Some people were luckier, and got to walk a long and winding path. Aegle had to run, but if she ran fast enough, maybe she could take the long path anyway.
Run fast enough, and maybe she'd even get to the end before her death did. Wouldn't that be something?
It would have been a fairly paltry matter for anybody else to feign ignorance and, were she truly intent on staying, make up some sort of lie to dissuade Lily's suggestions. Aegle, however, heard less of a reproach for her own inattention to her body and more a request from a friend to go and get her some food. Though Aegle was loathe to do anything that might be seen as her capitulating to anyone's authority where her health was concerned, her heart went out to Lily for not having had any food yet, and her decision was quickly reached.
"Sure~ Maybe they got some fishy curry." The smaller girl said pleasantly, turning towards the door, her stomach giving another growl in ascent to the thought. She pulled the door to Lily's room open with a quiet, nearly melodic whir, and stepped briskly out into the corridor.
Even in a properly ordered world, some things come down to a matter of blind chance and dumb luck. In such instances, it is hard to say exactly what those chances might have been, and just how much luck paid a part in their reckoning. This was not one of those instances. The odds of Aegle seeing Sol as she stepped out into the corridor, no matter how ordered and chaotic the universe, would never be any better nor worse than a perfect 50/50 split. Aegle had to turn down the corridor, and it was only a one in two chance that Sol would fall asleep on the side of the door frame he had, right where Aegle would see him as she turned. A more incalculable chance was the likelihood of the smaller girl recognizing the stock-still young man as the same she'd met outside the basilica a week prior, and she nearly didn't. It was only at the last moment, just before she stepped him out of her peripheral vision, that Aegle realized who he was. What happened next, upon such a realization, was so likely as to preclude the possibility of any other outcome.
Nothing so much as resembling forethought was present as Aegle swung around and confirmed her stunned realization, and nothing so much as resembling thought accompanied her next action. In a single motion, a fist was rising towards Sol's undefended guts, while another loaded back over Aegle's shoulder, while a look of inconceivable anger spread red across her face. Her fist connected with every ounce of force Aegle could muster, driven forward and upward by the muscles in her shoulders, back and legs, just as much as those in her arms. Every muscle, working in concert to put every bit of force and pain possible into the middle of the one eyed snake's stomach. But Aegle wasn't done there, because she knew that, when you punch a man in the guts, there was only one of two things he would do. He would block it, or he would double over like a snapped pencil. Being that Sol was asleep, with hands behind his back, it seemed that the latter would be his reaction. That was good, because Aegle also knew the best way to serve a man doubling over her fist. Hit him as hard as she could in the jaw. Her first punch had barely connected before the second came shooting out, already aiming for the tall scoundrel's chin.
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