Post by Engram on Jul 25, 2016 13:57:04 GMT -6
What is this?: Well, there aren't any "rules" pertaining to how to request revisions on your app, and I don't see any real reason to write any. Instead, I'm going to make a "universal" thread for my revisions that you're free to use when requesting your own.
Requesting revision(s) for: Coquel Nattier
Nature of revision: App update, tweaking minor details. Very, very small chance of retcon.
Link to app: twbtd.boards.net/thread/49/nattier-coquel-icot
Revisions to be reviewed:
- Changing Coquel's name to "Ceyla" within the application. This is because "Coquel Nattier" is a fake name she used for traveling. Ceyla, however, is the name given to her by Renault of Cela, who lazily named her (Ceyla, Cela - see it?).
- Adjustments to her history that reflect some of these changes, as well as updates to the present day (in spoilers to avoid wall o' text).Coquel Nattier (also known as Ceyla) has never been able to trace her origins, relying instead on the sole testimony on the man she now accepts as her father. What she does know is at a young age she was brought to the Monastery of Cela by her mother, who told the man that she couldn’t care for the little girl and was seeking a place where she could be left and raised properly. The Monastery was no orphanage, he told her, but proposed that he take the girl and raise her as his own. Cautious at first, the mother handed the child over - and that was the last the girl ever saw of her again. This would have little influence on her growing up, with the absence of memory replaced with an upbringing that paled in comparison to anything she would have gotten otherwise.
From early childhood, the man - named Renault - recognized a great deal of potential in the girl. From what he gathered from investigating her birth parents, she came from a mother who’s entire family had been bakers. Nothing special there. Her father, however, was a Huntsman with a slight degree of infamy for his violent tendencies. He was powerful, young and reckless, using his gift for both good and bad. With her father walking the fine line between light and dark, Renault feared that Ceyla would be doomed to the same fate. It was at the tender age of seven that Ceyla was placed in Cela’s Aura classes. If all went well, she would serve as a priestess in the Monastery, far from the negative influences of mankind.
As she grew older. Ceyla displayed a love for history and an affinity for swordplay, despite Monastery training emphasizing the use of staffs. It was through these frequent displays of sword preference that Renault concluded to gift Ceyla with a sword given to him by his father - Daedalus. It was a remarkable weapon, one that Renault was positive she could wield with a great deal of proficiency. At that time, the only issue was she was far too small to use the weapon in its full form. This was remedied, however, and Ceyla began training in the art of swordsmanship rather than in the use of - as she now calls them - “mediocre beating sticks.”
The unlocking of one’s Aura was commonplace on their first day of Monastery training, and Ceyla was really no different in that regard. She trained, like all the children of Cela, in the various arts of Aura mastery and its application to Dust. While she wasn’t the best with such power, she certainly was not the worst. This never discouraged little Ceyla, it instead pushed her to try harder, yielding only positive results. During her third year of Monastery training, she discovered her Semblance - while in her sleep. A nightmare had come upon her, causing her to break out into a horrific fit that didn’t cease until a powerful sonic boom emitted from her person. This experience was accompanied by a dark figure in her dream, one she named “Gallows” - thus becoming the name she gave to her Semblance.
After completing her Monastery training, Ceyla said her goodbyes to her friends, who had grown to be the only family she ever knew. Renault was torn to see the closest thing he had to a daughter leave his side, but a promise from the girl to someday return was enough to ease the aging man’s heart. Packing her things, Ceyla made her way across the many Kingdoms, taking the name “Coquel Nattier” for paperwork. During her travels, she found herself taking on mission after mission at the beck and call of the respective Kingdoms’ leadership. Eventually, she found her way to Menagerie, and it was here her entire life changed. The White Fang had organized on the lone continent, and while she felt a sense of unease at their presence, being alongside her own kind was almost all that was needed for them to convince her to join the group.
That wasn’t all that happened, though. To ensure her undying allegiance to the Fang, Ceyla was subject to numerous methods of torture. She was beaten down, then built up, only to be beaten down as to allow the cycle to continue. This did little to break her spirit, but upon threatening the safety of her home, Ceyla broke under pressure and agreed to join the organization. Her identity as a Huntress would be forgotten, instead replaced by the killing machine she would become. The Red-eyed Maiden, also known as “Remmy” among the group. She learned that people, especially criminals, were manipulative and cruel. She learned that in order to survive, she would have to become manipulative and cruel.
Accepting a mission to infiltrate Legion’s main governmental facility, Ceyla was put through even more torture and stress to ensure she could not break if captured and interrogated. Fearing that Faunus discrimination would make the task even harder, an experimental surgery was performed on her - the removal of her red panda tail. The experience was relatively quick, with Ceyla closing her eyes and opening them to find the procedure completed with no complications. It was a sigh of relief, for her and everyone else. After a few weeks of recovery, she packed her things and, accompanied by a small sect of Fang soldiers, made her way to the Kingdom of Legion.
As the Red-eyed Maiden, Ceyla committed a number of crimes in the name of the White Fang. She eventually secured a position within Legion’s government, working beneath the Kingdom’s second in command - Elijah Frye. What Ceyla - or Coquel, as they knew her - did not expect, however, was to fall in love with Frye. The two became very close, almost inseparable when outside the workplace. Talks of traveling back to the Cela Monastery to see Renault and, if possible, marry soon became the only thing she - or he - were focused on. For once, Ceyla believed she was going to have a normal life.
That is, of course, until orders from Menagerie came. The time had come to launch their assassination on the Chairman, an attack that she alone was chosen to carry out. The night of, Ceyla was ambushed Barnett, who went on to offer her an alternative: help him scapegoat the Kingdom of Rift, and in return all her crimes would be pardoned. Coquel Nattier would die, and she could live on as the person she truly was - Ceyla of Pinnacle. This, of course, did not come without its threats. Had she refused, Elijah’s life was sure to be in danger. The outcome was obvious, and she accepted the Chairman’s offer.
On the day of the Siege of Rift, Ceyla was one of the leading units, serving alongside Hunters of considerable renown. Unfortunately, in the aftermath of the attack, she had been informed that Elijah was killed in action - the result of a Vytal student’s Semblance. While brokenhearted, Ceyla found it impossible to blame anyone for Eli’s death, other than herself. She returned to Legion, where she put in motion the steps to change. She had held her end of the Chairman’s bargain, and as a result lost the only person she ever loved. No more would Ceyla - or Coquel - plague the Kingdom. No more would she let the White Fang tear apart the place she called home.
The Red-eyed Maiden was dead.
A hero in the making was all that remained.
Revisions approved/rejected by: Breezy.
How this works: Staff will review your revisions, then edit the "Approved/Denied" section to reflect that the changes have been approved or denied, as well as replace "Pending" with their name. It is likely the staff will also place the edits in for you, as to avoid additions that were not approved, but it's possible you may be allowed to do it yourself.
Template:
[b]Requesting revision(s) for:[/b]
[b]Nature of revision:[/b]
[b]Link to app:[/b]
[b]Revisions to be reviewed:[/b]
[b]Revisions approved/rejected by:[/b] Pending.